My Guts Are Broken, Part 1: The ABC Lifestyle (8/42)

In this case, "ABC" stands for "Always Be Cooking."

Photo by Rae Wallis on Unsplash

It's difficult to explain my digestive woes without an inappropriate (and tedious) journey through my entire medical history. Since several discrete things are wrong with my digestive system, including at least one as-yet undiagnosed issue, I simply refer to my ongoing stomach issues as "broken guts." Maybe that's a crude way to put it, but it gets the idea across.

Okay, my guts do work. But only under very specific and rigorous conditions.

I can't tolerate high-fat foods, for instance. You may think that's a simple problem to solve, but most Americans eat 75-80 grams of fat daily, and dieticians consider 50 daily grams to be a low-fat diet. At my worst, I could only tolerate about 12 grams of fat a day. (Was it any wonder that I was technically starving?) To put that into perspective, a medium avocado has about 27 grams of fat, and a tablespoon of olive oil and a single ounce of almonds each have 14 grams of fat. Even a cup of plain rolled oats has about 5 grams of fat before you put anything else in it! I can tolerate about 20 - 25 grams of fat a day now, but that still means I can't eat anything cooked with oil, containing nuts, or virtually any prepackaged food. I can safely eat only a handful of items from restaurants.

It's possible to adapt to eating very little fat. Trust me, I have! But I have other issues, too. I have to avoid highly acidic and spicy foods due to gastritis. So that means no citrus fruit, juices, smoothies, or pickles, and on a bad day, no tomatoes. Hot peppers and excessive spice are totally off the table. I can't even tolerate garlic (though onions are okay if they're cooked). And as if that weren't enough, I can't eat large amounts of raw vegetables due to longstanding IBS issues. I almost never eat salads because I can't have regular salad dressing (way too much fat) or most oil-free dressings (too acidic), and if an undressed pile of raw veg will leave me bloated and in pain, what's the point?

It's easier to make a list of things I can eat rather than those I can't. I can safely eat vegetables and fruits (as long as they're not too acidic), whole grains (the more fiber, the better), and legumes. I do eat very (very) small amounts of lean meat and fat-free dairy, but day-to-day, I basically eat a very low-fat vegan diet.

Most of my meals are kind of bland, repetitive, and carefully chosen to aggravate my digestion as little as possible. Believe it or not, I eat in a way that I find satisfying. My nutritional needs are mostly met, and I enjoy my food. Does the way I eat look weird to other people? YES. Should other people eat this way? Probably not if they aren't forced by circumstance to do so.

Of course, there are significant downsides to my eating habits. As I mentioned, it's not generally safe for me to eat restaurant food, so I can no longer eat socially in a normal way. I can't eat a piece of birthday cake at a party or grab a snack while running errands. There are few convenience foods or prepared foods that are safe for me to eat, so it's harder to feed myself when I'm ill or have a period of low energy. It's difficult to alter my eating schedule because I can't eat anything less than 3 hours before bed. I haven't been on a trip since 2019, and I have no idea how I would feed myself while traveling now.

There's very little margin in my food life. Sometimes it feels like I live in the kitchen. The other day, I made vegetable soup in the Instant Pot and baked oatmeal cookies, and between prep and clean up, I was in the kitchen for over 2 1/2 hours. Obviously, that's not an everyday situation. Sure, I have weekday meals I can crank out in 30 minutes. Luckily, I enjoy cooking and baking -- I even prefer my own cooking -- but it's an unending obligation now, with very few moments of respite.

With few exceptions, I make every meal, every snack, and every treat that goes into my mouth. And it can be exhausting. In fact, this level of kitchen commitment is only possible because my chronic fatigue is doing well. I've had entire years where spending this kind of time standing in a kitchen would have been unthinkable, so I know how lucky I am.

I'm also privileged to have the time and money to stay on top of this and meet my nutritional needs despite my eating limitations. I couldn't do this while working multiple jobs or on a low income.

I'm grateful that I no longer have terrible stomach pain every day, and I'm pleased that I've been persistent enough to find a way of eating that allows me to stay off medications that might be dangerous taken long-term. But the ABC (Always Be Cooking) lifestyle simply gobbles up much of my free time now.

I just get so tired of all that cooking.